3 Compass Questions For ANY Situation

Somebody said, “the easiest thing to decide is what to do if you were in someone else’s shoes.”

The problem with that is we never are.

So, how do you make good decisions?

Better yet, how can you make decisions – whether a decision about life direction, a response in conflict, or a situational transaction – that will result in the best outcome possible with what you know at the time?

I want to give you 3 questions that will help you, in any situation, to get your bearings very quickly, setting you on the path toward the successful outcomes that are objectively best (and that you ultimately want).

Often, only one of these questions are needed to make a decision.

I also submit to you: most of our trouble comes from ignoring even one of these questions.

Here they are:

1. Will it glorify God?

The Westminster Confession sums it up nicely: it is the chief end of man to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. The glory of God is why we exist. Period. Bringing all of life under His lordship will bring God’s glory to bear on any decision.

2. Is it wise?

This is a biggie. Andy Stanley wrote an entire book around this one question a number of years ago [The Best Question Ever]. Now, the prerequisite is question #1 above, essentially because “the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” This question Is it wise? MUST be biblically informed. Assuming that, this compass question can clear the fog pretty quickly.

3. What will be the impact on those in my care or under my leadership?

This question has a little bit of the golden rule built into it and gets us thinking about what’s in the decision for others instead of only ourselves.

This question is third for a reason, however. Fact is, sometimes acting on the answers to questions #1 and #2 above may make some folks under our care or leadership not-so-happy. Man-pleasing for it’s own sake is never endorsed by Scripture. And I’m not endorsing it here.

However, it’s important to keep in mind the needs and maturity of others who are directly — or even indirectly — impacted by our decisions. Looking for the win-win outcome keeps us from being inordinately self-focused. A careful answer to question #1 and #2 will often make this question moot, but it’s always good to test this angle before stepping forward.

Living an effective life isn’t really a secret if we just think first about who we are, whose we are, and why we’re here in the first place in the face of a difficult situation or decision. These questions get to the heart of that.

A lot of heartache and regret can avoided in these three simple queries. More success and effectiveness can be achieved by the same.

Keep these questions in your mind at all times. They’ll sit like little counselors in your psyche, ready to grant you sure footing faster than you can say “oops.”

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A mother peeked her head into her newborn’s room and caught a quiet glimpse of her husband gazing at the crib in retrospective thought. She stopped and leaned her head against the doorpost, soaking in the tender scene.

Finally breaking the silence, she whispered her question, “Whatcha thinking about, Hon?”

Her husband shrugged a little and said, “I’m trying to figure out how they can build a crib like this for just $39.95.”

With all that’s going on in the world right now, and knowing that God is watching all of it, maybe you’ve wondered, “what is God thinking about right now?”

There could be much speculation in the answer to that question but there is one answer that I don’t have to guess about and neither do you.

Souls.

God still has the world on his heart.

He still “so loves the world” to the point of having offered his perfect Son as a sacrifice.

God doesn’t need people.

But he loves people.

And because he loves people he sends people – gospel-bearing people like you and me – to let them know that.

That’s why the “into all the world” part of the Great Commission still matters to God.

Because God doesn’t just love American middle-class churchgoers.

He loves the poor, the rich, the up-and-in and the down-and-out, the working class, the lower class, skipped-the-class and even the got-no-class.

He loves the red, the yellow, black and white, mixed, neutral, melatonin-altered, albino and the heavily tattooed among all the above.

He love the black-haired, white-haired, blonde-haired, fake blonde-haired and striped neon-haired. (And yes, no-haired. Don’t email me.)

Jesus still has something to say to everyone about the specific way in which he has expressed his love for them.

But the formula hasn’t changed.

And here it is from Romans 10 (NIV):

How can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!”

Here it is in my own words:

The less that go, the less that hear.

The less that hear, the less believe.

The less that believe, the less call on That Name.

The less that call on That Name, the more that perish forever.

All because so many chose not to go.

The church offers the training, the resources, the courses, the steps, the materials. Everything.

Everything but the choice.

Only you can offer that.

Want the perfect opportunity? I just made a video for the most affordable and life-changing missions opportunity EVER.

And no, that’s not exaggeration.

Check out my video.

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Call Scott directly at 865-771-3281 for any info  you need.  If you have registered and need to contact  Educational Opportunities, their phone is 863-648-0383.  Ask for Fran.

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The song “Look Around” by Christian Country band and good friends of mine, the Akins Band, really gives some good perspective for troubled times.  They performed where I was preaching recently at Liberty Baptist Church in Dalton, GA.

Even if you don’t like country music, you can appreciate the message in this song.

Regardless of what the media thinks, we’re still living in the greatest country on the face of the earth. ??????? ????? ????? ???????

David, Nick, Joel, Me, Dave, Eli

]]> http://snsministries.org/look-around-holds-great-message-for-troubled-times/feed/ 1 http://snsministries.org/a-law-that-cannot-be-broken/ http://snsministries.org/a-law-that-cannot-be-broken/#comments Tue, 26 Jul 2005 07:05:30 +0000 admin http://snsministries.org/topics/?p=37

There are all sorts of things I could teach, verbally ruminate or otherwise “vent” about in this newsletter. As rarely as we put out one of these little circulars, believe me, I’ve got a lot stored up I’d like to write about.

Instead, I’d like to talk about an ever-present Truth that I just can’t get past. I am consistently being reminded of it. A truth that regardless of age, ethnicity, gender or religion, we all will be reminded of until time is no more. A truth that we can ignore but not erase. A truth that will not let us go. A truth that we can’t get past first four words of the Bible with seeing. That is, that everything begins and ends with God.

So much of the pseudo-psychology and psycho-theology that is enjoying ever-increasing popularity today begins and ends with man. Turn on TBN at any given time and you are more likely to find a preacher who goes almost out of his way to keep man at the center of his preaching than one who keeps God at the center.

That is why you hear less and less Scripture quoted when they preach. This is why you won’t hear very many of them preach verse-by-verse in an expositional fashion. If they did, they would have to deal with the depravity of man and our tendency toward sinfulness (a word many preachers refuse to use, though the Scriptures speak of it so often). Today’s feel-better pulpiteers would also have to deal with the fact that the Scriptures show us that any approach to life that starts with man usually ends up in tragedy like, for instance, um… er… the Fall of man, maybe.

When we start with man, we inappropriately elevate him to a position he’s not qualified to occupy. And in doing so, we reduce God. God becomes a bellhop or a band-aid whose primary role is to simply help man reach whatever goals, purposes or desires man has for himself.

But let us be clear on this. He’s not a bell hop or a band-aid. God is the center of the universe and He is the beginning and ending point of everything in life. He’s Sovereign King. You could sum up all of Scripture in one verse: “From Him and through Him and to Him are all things.” You could sum up all of the universe past present and future in one biblical phrase: “for His glory.”

• Scent of a Woman divx

You may not like it. You may argue that you disagree with the picture of the “wrathful God of the Old Testament,” or ignore the whip-bearing, temple-cleansing Jesus of the New Testament. But like it or not, He is God and “hath done whatsoever he pleases.” We can’t ignore the real Him and we can’t re-invent the real Him and it somehow still work out all right.

But it seems that what so many think. Subtly (and sometimes not-so-subtly), the church is making God in our own image, and in doing so, we’re not worshiping the One True God, but rather a perversion of the Real Thing. We must remember: we don’t tell God who He is, He tell us who He is.

And in case you think my pendulum is swinging too far, here’s the clincher: when we surrender to Who He really is, we do get a personal blessing – immediately, instantaneously.

Follow my reasoning here. Due to the fact that everything begins and ends with God, due to the fact that everything centers on Him, this makes Him the True Ultimate. And in a culture which seems to have degenerated into one great big ad for everything “ultimate,” we’d better get this down lest we be seduced by snake-oil salesmen (like Hollywood execs and university professors) selling counterfeits. Mark it down: GOD is the Ultimate Source for everything our soul craves – because what our soul craves most is God.

“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” He gladly honors this promise because He gladly gives us Himself. The novelty doesn’t wear off of Him. The polish doesn’t fade on Him. He is the first, final and best gift to us as our Everything.

Yes, there are promises to you, from God Himself, about your needs, your health, your finances, your future. But the granting of those is all about His Kingdom, not ours. And the blessings personally received as a result of those promises are not and end in themselves, but a means to improve us for Him. Let me put it this way, if you stood before God and asked Him to give you the best thing He could possibly give you in the entire universe, and He had promised to do so, He would have to give you Himself. Period.

Fulfillment? The truest fulfillment (not just merely feeling fulfilled) is in doing HIS will. Life purpose? Our purpose on earth starts and ends with HIS glory. “In Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” (Ps. 16:11, NKJV) Those old Puritans had it right after all. As the Westminster Catechism states, “the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.” And sure it’s hard to have that Mary heart in a Martha world. But Jesus said it is the one necessary thing. (Luke 10:42)

The fact that everything starts and finishes with God, that fact that everything that is IS for His glory, the fact that everything we need or will truly satisfy our hearts is found in Him and Him only, this is a law that cannot be broken. It’s like gravity. You can’t break it for long, you can only break yourself against it.

You and I will unconsciously try to start our arguments and proofs with man and only find a big piece always missing. You and I will try to find satisfaction elsewhere, to see if the bass boat or the new job or the pay raise or the vacation “does the trick” only to find ourselves more frustrated than before. You and I will try to find fulfillment through a job or a position or a higher level of influence or through education, only to find ourselves hollow still.

Only in God, dear friend. Not in “churchianity,” not in religious activities, not even in family. In God alone. That is where the action is. That is where the romance comes alive. That is where the peace prevails. That is where the “click” happens in my spirit that makes everything else in my life fall into its proper place.

Might as well give in. It’s a law that can’t be broken.

Hey Scott,

C in Tennessee

Dear C,

I?m not known for being succinct, nor brief. And on such an issue as this, I want to be as clear as possible. I believe that the answers behind this question can touch on many other areas of biblical interpretation and application, so I write in hopes that my answer will give you the fuel to deal with other similar questions in the future through the same framework.

Let me say also, that it is an honor for me to be asked by you to address this question. And I appreciate the fact that you feel that you can bring a question like this to me. I only hope that I am up to supplying an answer that will satisfy your ?thinkings.?

Let?s start with terminology.

The term “Sabbath” is derived from the Hebrew verb “to rest or cease from work.” The ?rest? idea is explicit in the command and is even given further application in Deut. 5:14 commanding that even servants and animals cease from laboring on the Sabbath ?that they may rest as you do.? Many claim that Sabbath means ?seventh? in an attempt to bind all the contents of the command to the seventh day. That is a complete falsehood. ?Rest? is the meaning of the word. It is true, however, that in the original command given to the Jews through Moses, that God did intend for the holy day to be observed on the last day of a seven day week. We?ll discuss this in more detail later in this discussion.

Now, if we are to interpret and apply the fourth commandment rightly, we must consider several things. First of all, to whom the command was given and the context in which it was given. Secondly, on which side of the resurrection it was given. And thirdly, any implications and applications regarding the Sabbath by the apostles of the New Testament.

First, the command to observe the Sabbath on the seventh day of each week was given to the Jews along with, not nine, but 612, other laws in the Law of Moses. We make a big deal of ?the Ten Commandments? as if they were the only commands ever given in the Old Testament. Here?s the scoop: there were 613 laws given by God through Moses and the original Ten, which are only part of the whole Law, were given to ?hold them over? until the Law of Moses was completely given to Israel as seen primarily in Deuteronomy and Leviticus.

You mentioned the word ?remember.? That word simply means ?to observe? and could equally apply to all the Law that was given through Moses. Just like God told the people to remember the Sabbath Day, He also told them not to forget the whole Law of Moses, all 613. In Deut. 8:11, after finishing the delivery of the six hundred and thirteen commandments of the Law, He said, ?Be careful that you DO NOT FORGET the LORD your God, [by] failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day.? If ?remember? in the fourth commandment means to never stop observing it on the seventh day, then ?do not forget? in Deut. 8:11 means we ought to be observing all 613 laws (including sacrificing animals and not eating pork Bar-b-que) to this day! But we don?t! And we don?t have to! Praise the Lord, because Jesus fulfilled the whole law in his life and in his sacrificial, substitutional, atoning death!

Now, in order to lay further groundwork for proper understanding, let?s discuss the background of an Early Church problem that was faced over these kinds of issues, where eventually the Sabbath comes into New Testament discussion. Follow me here? You and I may understand that truth (that in Jesus we are no longer under law). Gentiles usually have no problem grasping that one. But in the Early Church there were JEWS hearing the Gospel for the first time after being raised under the Law of Moses. Most Jews rejected the Gospel because they were so tied to the Law. They just couldn?t accept grace. But some thought they were accepting the Gospel when they really were not, because though they claimed to trust in Christ for salvation, in their hearts they still trusted their own obedience to the Law. They were called ?Judaizers.? They believed that in order to become a Christian, one had to first become a Jew. How? They thought circumcision did the trick.

This was such a problem, Paul confronted it among almost every Gentile church he wrote to, reminding them that salvation is by grace through faith in Christ ALONE, apart from any works of the law. Consider these statements: Gal. 6:15 ?Neither circumcision nor uncircumcision means anything; what counts is a new creation.? And Col. 2:11-12 ?In him you were also circumcised, in the putting off of the sinful nature, not with a circumcision done by the hands of men but with the circumcision done by Christ, having been buried with him in baptism and raised with him through your faith in the power of God, who raised him from the dead.? As a matter of fact THE ENTIRE BOOK OF GALATIANS was written to address the confusion that had arisen in a Gentile church because of bunch of legalistic teachers, Judaizers, had come in trying to tie God?s freed people to Old Testament Jewish law. If it wasn?t so serious, it would be laughable, because remember this: these Galatian believers were Gentiles, just like you and me. THE LAWS OF MOSES WERE NEVER EVEN GIVEN TO THEM! NOT THE BIG TEN? NOT THE OTHER 603! They only had the moral law written on their hearts and they had met Jesus fresh, apart from Judaism, and found grace and forgiveness for their sins. Paul is reminding them that this Law the Judaizers speak of is IRRELEVANT to those in Christ Jesus! It?s been rendered NON-APPLICABLE for them.

Now, here?s the key question for us New Testament believers who are under the New Covenant as it pertains to the Sabbath and other such issues: ?Is ALL the Law of Moses non-applicable in Christ??

The answer to that question comes through an understanding of the Law. Every command, all 613, fell into two categories: MORAL and CEREMONIAL.

A moral law would be, for instance, “Cursed is the man who sleeps with his sister, the daughter of his father or the daughter of his mother.” Deut. 27:22. A ceremonial law would be one like Lev. 13:45-46 “The person with such an infectious [skin] disease must wear torn clothes, let his hair be unkempt, cover the lower part of his face and cry out, `Unclean! Unclean!’ As long as he has the infection he remains unclean. He must live alone??

Most of the 613 Old Testament laws were ceremonial in nature. Just check out nearly any verse in Leviticus and we know that. The ceremonial laws are what were done away with. The moral laws are still intact; they are even written on man?s heart. Any person with a skin infection is not required today by any law, moral or otherwise, to go around chanting ?unclean!? nor is a person with a skin infection required to cover his face, or live alone or otherwise. He?s not an immoral person if he chooses not to follow those regulations. However, today it?s still morally wrong if a man commits incest. It?s immoral, period, and always will be. When Paul said, ?you are not under law, but under grace? in Romans 6:14 did he mean that we don?t have to honor ?thou shalt not commit adultery?? No way! Fidelity is a moral law and it?s is still intact. He meant that as believers we are not required to keep any CEREMONIAL rule, regulation, decree or command in the Law of Moses. Why? Because in the Lamb of God, all has been ?finished? and atoned for ceremonially. In Matt 5:18 Jesus said, ?not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished.? Well, the good news is the everything was accomplished in the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus. In verse 17 of Matt. 5, He was clear: “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to FULFILL them.? And that?s what He did! Jesus fulfilled all of the moral AND all of the ceremonial aspects of the Law. There?s no way to be ?unclean? in Christ. There?s no way to be unacceptable to God in Christ. Here?s the CLINCHER? as a matter of fact, every ?smallest letter? and ?stroke of a pen? (?jot and tittle?) in the Law were FORESHADOWS of Jesus himself! John 1:45 ?Philip found Nathanael and told him, “We have found the one Moses WROTE ABOUT IN THE LAW, and about whom the prophets also wrote–Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph.”? More on this later.

So, when determining if an Old Testament law applies to us as a New Testament Christian, we must ask, is it moral or ceremonial in nature? Any aspect of the Law that is ceremonial in nature does not apply since the resurrection of Jesus. That?s why Paul can make a statement as in 1 Cor. 7:19: ?Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God’s commands is what counts.? But wasn?t one of God?s commands circumcision? Yes, but that was a ceremonial, pre-cross, pre-resurrection command! Moral laws, however, by the nature of what morality is, do not change. We now keep the moral law, ?the law of Christ,? as we are led by the Spirit of Christ (Romans eight).

WHAT I JUST EXPLAINED IS VERY IMPORTANT as it will give much light on this issue.

The Sabbath day command when given in Exodus 20 is interesting because it contained both moral AND ceremonial elements. It was MORAL in that it commanded a day of rest and reflection that is necessary for proper stewardship of one?s body and spirit and for one?s servants and animals as well, that they too might be blessed by it (Truett Cathay of Chik-fil-A is on the money with this). It was CEREMONIAL in it?s binding to the seventh day of the week.

Christ?s death and resurrection canceled the requirement of the ceremonial aspect, while the moral aspect remained eternal as it always has and will (as moral law by nature never changes). We see this explained and exemplified in Early Church teaching and practice.

EARLY CHURCH PRACTICE AND TEACHING
Luke writes in Acts 20:7 that ? On the first day of the week we came together to break bread? (symbolizing Lord?s Supper, worship and fellowship). The New Testament believers began to meet on the day that Christ arose because they understood that his resurrection was the culmination of all the that Law and the Prophets foreshadowed in Christ. Many of those believers were GENTILES and NEVER HAD observed a Saturday Sabbath and didn?t start! There was no need to! Christ?s fulfillment of the Law broke the binding of the Sabbath to a particular day. The first church chose then to worship together on the first day of the week, resurrection day. Interestingly (though rarely pointed out), this too had been foreshadowed in Old Testament Law, namely in the wave offering and the grain offerings. Check out Leviticus 23:15-16: ” `From THE DAY AFTER the Sabbath, the day you brought the sheaf of the wave offering, count off seven full weeks. Count off fifty days up to THE DAY AFTER the seventh Sabbath, and then present an offering of new grain to the LORD.? Verse 7 of the same chapter says, ?On the FIRST DAY hold a sacred assembly and do no regular work.? THESE WERE THE VERY FEASTS THAT POINTED FORWARD TO THE VERY SAME EVENTS THAT CHRISTIANS NOW CELEBRATE ON SUNDAY!

Further New Testament examples:
1 Cor. 16:2 ?On the first day of every week, each one of you should set aside a sum of money in keeping with his income, saving it up, so that when I come no collections will have to be made.? The reason Paul suggested that their offerings should be set aside on the first day of the week was because that was the day it was most convenient, SINCE THEY WERE MEETING TOGETHER FOR WORSHIP ANYWAY. It is significant that the early church father, Justin Martyr (second century A.D.) testified that contributions to the church were received on that day (Apology I, 67.6).

Matthew Mark and Luke in their Gospels all emphasize the fact that the Lord?s resurrection occurred early the morning of the first day of the week. It was very significant.

The Apostle John wrote in Revelation 1, verse 10: ?On the Lord’s Day I was in the Spirit, and I heard behind me a loud voice like a trumpet?? ?The Lord?s Day? is the Greek phrase kyriake hemera. One writer notes that ?most commentators, both ancient and modern, have, however, taken the expression to mean Sunday, the first day of the week? This usage occurs early in the apostolic fathers (Didache 14; Ignatius To the Magnesians 9).? For me, Calvin, ancient commentators and the usage of the Early Church writers within the early centuries are significant in that they had much more plentiful and accurate Church history at their disposal whenever they wrote on any given subject.

Overwhelmingly, history and the Scriptures let us know that seventh-day Sabbath observances were no longer a part of the lives of New Testament believers. To say the Apostles kept the Sabbath on Saturday is erroneous. If they ever did anything on the Sabbath that seemed Jewish, it was go to Synagogue, and the only reason they went was to preach Christ and the Gospel to the Jews in order to liberate them from the Law they thought they had to observe!

NOW FINALLY COMES THE CROWNING NEW TESTAMENT PASSAGE ON THIS ISSUE. In light of all I have related thus far, study with me the following Scripture Paul wrote to the Gentile, infant-in-their-faith, Colossian believers, who, like some other Gentile churches, were beginning to come under judgment by Judaizers. It may be the most pertinent and powerful passage in our discussion.

COL 2:13 When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, 14 having canceled the written code, with its regulations [that is, the Law of Moses with all it?s ceremonial bindings], that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross. 15 And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.

COL 2:16 Therefore do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a New Moon celebration or a Sabbath day. 17 These are a shadow of the things that were to come; the reality, however, is found in Christ.

Calvin, the times and seasons observances required of the Jews under the Law were shadows of the coming Christ. The written code with its regulations has been taken away and nailed by Jesus to the cross.

About your other points: Regarding Adam and Eve?s Sabbath-keeping, I?ve seen no evidence that Adam and Eve observed a seventh-day Sabbath, but even if they did, their example is irrelevant in light of Jesus. Regarding Jesus keeping the Sabbath in his death, Jesus did not intentionally keep the Sabbath on Calvary; the prophesy was simply fulfilled regarding the time of his death, a prophecy given in the context of the Law of Moses. If one wants to be technical, Jesus was working on the seventh day? he was ravaging Hell acquiring the keys to Death, Hell and the Grave!

Regarding Isa. 66:23-24 ?From one New Moon to another and from one Sabbath to another, all mankind will come and bow down before me,” says the LORD.? Those terms, New Moon and Sabbath, are simply used to mark time. It would be like me saying, ?from January to January, I must winterize my pipes.? The New Moon and the Sabbath were familiar time-markers to the Old Testament Jewish mind. He was simply saying that from ?month to month? and ?week to week? they will come and bow before the Lord. To interpret this verse as teaching an eternal seventh-day Sabbath observance is stretching it at best.

Well, that concludes my comments. I trust that my answer will shed some kind of light on the question. Your desire to be pleasing the Lord in everything as an obedient child. God will honor that. Ironically, in our zeal to be pleasing to the Lord, we can become vulnerable to modern-day ?Judaizers? who preach things like salvation-by-baptism, and Sunday-is-the-mark-of-the-beast kind of stuff. We just simply don?t want to miss ANYTHING that pleases the Lord! The key is solid, broad-based understanding of Theology, an asset that has evaded the average believer over the last hundred years. I trust that somehow this discussion has clarified some things and deepened you in your own walk with Jesus.

If anything is unclear or raises more questions, please don?t hesitate to write again. We love you and your family and pray God?s richest and best for you.

In Christ,
Scott Smith

Dear Scott,

Desiring the Best
Phoenix, AR

Dear Desiring,

Bear with me as I “go around my elbow to get to my thumb” answering your question. I’ll do so this way because I believe that the answer applies to so much more than just dating and marriage in our Christian life. Allow me not only to speak to you, but any other singles from various backgrounds who may identify with your question.

Memorize this statement: God is sovereign. That’s a fancy word that means He’s in control. He’s on the throne. He’s got His hand on the joystick. Whatever happens, He either causes or allows. I’m not trying to be fatalistic, neither am I nullifying man’s free will, I’m just pointing out what the Bible repeatedly declares. When all seems chaotic, overwhelming, or just plain hopeless, God is still in control. And my point in this is that God control even extends to your own mate situation.

Has it ever occurred to us that God is so big that nothing is bigger than Him? If anarchy erupted in America and the Constitutional freedoms we all enjoy were banished in a day by the regime of a loud-mouthed foreign dictator who wore camouflage and smoked cheap cigars while touting the philosophies of Karl Marx, God would still be in control. If an asteroid were hurling toward the earth the size of Texas and threatened the orange crop in Florida, the stock market, and otherwise life as we know it, God wouldn’t be sweating a drop. And if you finally found yourself about to go out on a date with the man or woman of your dreams and while brushing your teeth discovered the biggest shiner of a zit on the end of your otherwise perfect nose, God’s got it covered (no pun intended). He’s sovereign.

The sovereignty of God simply means that everything that happens is either determined by God or allowed by Him. I know that this may raise as many questions as it answers, but the sovereignty of God is clearly taught from Genesis to Revelation. And of all the doctrines you and I need to learn in our Christian life, this is one of the biggies we need to get because it will be an understanding of the sovereignty of God that impacts our response to our circumstances, especially those of our love life.

Perhaps you’ve been in reaction mode for quite some time when it comes to dating. Perhaps you’ve been going out with whomever asks you out knowing in your heart your just settling for less. “It beats being lonely,” you’ve said to yourself, “something’s better than nothing.” Or maybe you’ve dated no one at all in a very long time (or maybe ever!), and you’re depressed about it. You feel that if you have attend one more friend’s wedding, having to smile, mask the jealousy, and eat someone else’s wedding cake (not to mention buy another stupid bridesmaid dress you’ll never wear again and can’t sell), you’ll just explode. Or maybe you’re a broken heart, reading this because another one that seemed so right just walked out of your life taking your best shot of marriage out the door with him. Maybe you even had a ring. The older you become, and the slimmer the pickings get, the more hopeless it seems that you’ll ever meet the one for you. I’m glad you’re reading this. Now get this: God is not caught off guard by your situation. He’s not the least bit shaken. He’s got it all under control. Sovereignty. He’s got it, baby.

Now, the Enemy, Satan, wants you to believe that God will abuse His control or use it against you. But that’s not possible because it goes against God’s very nature. If He abused His power or used it to harm His children He would be contradicting His Word, which would make Him a liar, which would cause Him to cease to be God. And I really don’t see God giving up His very identity just to make a point. He’s God, period. And He’s everything the Bible describes Him to be.

Our God who is sovereign is also good (Nahum 1:7). He’s wise (1 Timothy 1:17). He cares. 1 Peter 5:7 says to “Cast all your care upon Him for He cares for you.” That means He cares specifically for you. Jesus said, “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very has of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows” (Matthew 10:29-30). These verses speak libraries. Jesus is teaching us that His care for us is not general like the way we care about all the lost dogs that will be picked up by dog catchers and taken to the pound without anyone to plead their case. His care is specific. So specific, in fact, that He has numbered the hairs on our head. Just remember that tomorrow morning in the shower as number 17, number 897 and number 12,345 go down the drain. Everything about you completely matters to the Father.

And, because of that fact, He has developed a wonderful, specific plan for your life and marriage. “‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to five you a hope and a future.’” (Jeremiah 29:11) David said in the Psalms, “All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be” (Psalm 139:16). God has sovereignly constructed an incredible plan for you that is as big as the imagination of God Himself!

Not only is God as good and wise and caring as He is sovereign, He’s unchanging as well. (James 1:17) He’s not fickle like some of the people you’ve gone out with. He’s the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8). Which means He is still today all those things the Bible says that He is. He hasn’t changed a lick. So, don’t fear God’s control. Rest in it!

If you will rest in these truths about the sovereignty of a loving God, it will make a profound difference in the way you operate in your dating life. For instance, let’s examine the zit scenario from earlier. How many times has something like that happened to you and thought, “Oh, great! That’s it! It’s over before it’s begun! If this guy was supposed to be ‘the one,’ he’s gonna take one look at my nose and think he’s on a double date! He’ll never want to see me again!” Now really. Can you imagine God sitting on His throne noticing your complexion problem and thinking, “Well, I wanted to get these two people together, but I never considered the threat of acne. That’s too bad. On to ‘Plan B’!”? No way. Sovereignty means God doesn’t have a “plan B.” Has it ever occurred to you that nothing ever occurs to God? His “plan A’s” always work out. When God has a plan for you, and you desire His best for you, no zit could ever come between you. (Although technically. . . oh, never mind.) So when things seem out of control, whether it’s a zit or he’s just flat not interested in you anymore, you don’t have to be anxious!

The lack of trust in a sovereign God is the fundamental reason we fret so when we’re the victim of a breakup. A lack of understanding in the Lord’s involvement is the reason many date just any ‘ol body in britches and a ball cap. A lack of trust in God’s sovereign plan is why so many try to manipulate people into relationships with themselves. A lack of understanding of God’s perfect plan is the reason many panic when they hit thirty and they’re still not married. A lack of rest in God’s plan is the reason zits and bad hair days nearly cause heart attacks at fifteen minutes until six on date nights. Chill out, my friend! Rest, knowing that God has someone out there for you and when God’s time arrives, the twain shall meet! God is sovereignly working to get you two together in His time and in His way.

The doctrine of God’s sovereign control is exactly why I don’t fall into reasoning that there are many fish in the sea, so to speak, and you can pick the mackerel that you think is best. I find that nowhere in Scripture. God took only one of Adam’s ribs and made only one woman, not a harem of them. Israel strayed from God’s original plan into polygamy for a time, but it was never endorsed by God. This prevailing idea today that one of many may be suitable and you just go out there, date around, and pick any ‘ol one you like is an unbiblical farce that minimizes the sovereign involvement of the Lord. I believe that God sovereignly chooses someone to be a your mate and He makes a way for it to come together. The rib will find her man, and vice versa. Even if she’s in Seattle and you’re living in Atlanta, God can, and will, cause your paths to cross, even if he has to ship her to you priority mail.

What a load off! Aren’t you glad it’s not the other way! I mean, really, how well do you trust your own choice? Sure, you trust it more than someone else’s choice for you, but how many times have even you loused it up? How many times have you looked over a menu at a restaurant and thought you picked the best dish on the page, only to find out when the food arrived that your buddy’s fried chicken livers looked better than that piece of burnt meat this place called “steak”? What about the time you bought the Motor Trend “car of the year” only to find out it was the lemon of the year? Quite honestly, my choices are usually less than perfect. I’ll take God’s choice any day. He can’t help but make the perfect choice.

Now, you may be saying, “Yeah, I believe God is big enough to have a specific plan for me. And I believe He thinks it’s a good one, no doubt. But does He care about what I want in a mate? He’ll probably has this sovereign plan for me to marry someone that has a “great personality.” And that’s all they have.

Well, let’s look at His Word to see what He has to say. The Bible says to “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4-5) Sounds to me like those desires He wants to give me are the ones in my heart. Now that doesn’t mean that we can just pop off any old request and expect to get it. God cares about your specific desires but He’s not a bellhop. If He was, then He would have to be a sovereign bellhop which is an oxymoron, a contradiction of terms, like “jumbo shrimp” or an “exact estimate.” God cares about the desires of your heart but also knows what is best for you and wants only that. That is why it’s important that you delight yourself in Him and do as the next verse says, “Commit your way to the Lord and He will do it.” The receiving of your heart’s desires comes only after surrender to His perfect plan for you in all things. And surrender to His plan is no problem when He Himself is your delight. The bottom line is this: your desires for certain qualities in a mate do matter very much to God.

Jesus said “Ask and you shall receive” (Matt. 7:7). He didn’t say, “…except when it comes to choosing a mate.” In James, the Lord said that “you do not have because you do not ask God” (Jas. 4:2). I believe a lot of us share more with our friends about our what kind of person we’re looking for more than we share it with God, because we actually believe that they care more than he does, or maybe that they can do something about it better than He can. The Scripture is clear, God cares about what we’re asking but He also cares whether we’re asking and who we’re asking. He delights when his children ask of him!

“But what if God doesn’t want me to be married? Surely God doesn’t think everybody should be married.” I believe you’re right. God probably doesn’t want everyone to be married. The Apostle Paul said, I wish that every man could be even as I am, and then went on to explain why it may be better to remain single. But quite honestly, if you’re worried that that verse may describe God’s ideal plan for you in particular. I say, if you’re worried that it might be for you, then it probably isn’t. I believe there is a gift of celibacy, but I don’t have it. And I’m glad I don’t have that gift. There are a lot of gifts I’d much rather have than that gift. I’m married. I was meant to be married. I belong in my marriage. And I praise God for it! And that is likely to be the case for you. I believe that it is likely that those who have been given the gift of celibacy would never care to read my answer to your question anyway. The question itself would have barely even caught their attention. But you do care about marriage. That’s why you’re frantically pouring over these words in search of hope for you love life. You don’t have the gift of celibacy and aren’t called to that. (Praise God. Amen.) As a matter of fact, after He made each segment of creation, he said “it’s good” until he made man. Then he said, “it’s not good” that man be alone.” Then he made a mate for the man and said “it’s very good”! So realize that when you say, “I want to be married,” you are agreeing with God for a good thing. That’s asking according to the will of God. How do we know it’s the will of God? It’s a desire of your heart and it’s founded in the Word of God.

The Enemy always has a way of trying to distort the Word of God (just check out some of the lines he used in the Garden!). The way he tries to blow this great truth about God’s sovereignty that we’re discussing is to get you to believe that God only wants for you what you need and what you need will not be what you want. So you can either trust God’s plan for getting a mate and have God’s what-you-need, or, you can work your own plan for getting your mate and have the what-you-want while God says “Tut, tut! That’s not what I think you need!” So begins your wrestling match with God. That’s wrong. The fact is, God knows what you need and what you want and will give you exactly that in one package. That is His plan. “He satisfies your desires with good things” (Psalm 103:5). That “good things” is not to be viewed like “Eat your veggies. They’re good for you,” nor like, “good” but you it won’t suit your tastes. It’s “good” like all around “great,” like water on a hot day, rest in weariness, and good friends in lonely times. What you want and what you need.

Since God knows what you need, and often what you desire, even better than you know yourself, He will not always give you what, or who, you think will satisfy your desire. He may leave your request unanswered in order to give you someone who will satisfy your desire even more. I heard one Christian lady remark that she after she would make her requests to God, she would pray, “Lord, if what I prayed for is not your best for me, then cancel my request.” That’s pretty good theology. Jesus said to ask and you shall receive, but also that we must ask according to the will of God. But He also said, “if you then being evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more does your Heavenly Father desire to give good gifts to those who ask Him.” Now that I’m married and look back on all the great girls I dated and prayed to marry, but didn’t, I’m singing that tune with Garth, “I thank my God for unanswered prayers!”

This principle doesn’t only matter right now while you’re waiting on the mate God has for you. It will really matter after you meet and marry the one God has for you. Because, as is the case in most marriages, hard times will come. The commitment will be challenged. The bliss will be eclipsed for a time, time and time again. And in those times when things occur between you that you just don’t understand, you will be able to trust that our Sovereign God must have known what he was doing when He put you two together, that you didn’t just make some short-sighted, subjective choice, and that his purposes will prevail in your relationship. That truth will give you the assurance you need to get through the hard times. You’ll be assured “that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Phil. 1:6).

Suppose I stepped into an Englishman’s wine cellar and he offered me any bottle of his wine free of charge, one that I deemed best. Any bottle I wanted. (No, I am not encouraging the use of alcoholic beverages by this example. I just can’t think of anything that fits better at this point.) Now I could avail myself of this fine privilege and run here and there throughout the racks of wine bottles, dusting off the vintages, checking dates, colors and labels. But how could I get the most out of the privilege? I would be best served by turning to my distinguished host and admitting my shallow knowledge of wines in general and his cellar in particular. Then I should tout his reputation as a wine connoisseur and furthermore his extensive knowledge of the contents of this particular cellar, since it has been built by him, stocked by him and arranged by him. After doing so, I should ask that he do me the honor of choosing the wine for me, “for then,” I would say, “I would be confident I held the best you have to offer.” That would be my wisest move.

If God is sovereign and God does care, then we must resist the notion that we are best served by taking our best shot at finding a mate. We must turn to Him surrendering to His best choice, keeping in mind He also knows our tastes. Trust me. I’ve married my rib.